Deck Hands
by Kaiimi
Summary: The minigame from Mario Party 7. This is what happens when you put a person who's in an angry mood because of being 4th place for almost the entire game, in a luck-based minigame. WARNING: CONTAINS VIOLENCE!


Wario, Daisy, Birdo and Dry Bones were playing the mini-game 'Deck Hands' from Mario Party 7. Wario was in a grumpy mood because he's been in last place ever since the game started! 80 coins were at stake and around 50 of them would be given to the first place winner. Wario wanted to win this really bad so he could AT LEAST not being in last place. Not to mention, he was right next to the star space, so if he could AT LEAST get second place, he would finally get a star.

Dry Bones was in 1st place with currently 109 coins and 3 stars.

Daisy was in second place with 125 coins and 2 stars.

Birdo was in third place with 74 coins and 1 star.

Wario was in last place with 12 coins and 0 stars.

"START!"

The Shy Guy set out the deck of cards out on the table in front of Dry Bones. He was the first to go.

"Pick a card...any card!" Said the Shy Guy.

"Hmm...I guess I'll go with this one!" Said Dry Bones, picking the card from the far right.

He got a 3.

"Grrr...that's way too low!" Dry Bones complained.

"Quit ya whining! It's only the first draw!" Shy Guy laughed.

Next was Daisy. Shy Guy set out the cards in front of her.

"Man, why did the producers have to create such a luck-based game?" Daisy said.

She randomly picked a card from the pile.

She got a 8.

"Oh well, better than a 3!" Daisy snickered. Dry Bones grunted.

Next was Birdo. Shy Guy set out the cards in front of her.

"So...just pick any card? From the pile?" Birdo asked.

"No Birdo, you pick the cards from my nose. OF COURSE YOU PICK THE CARDS FROM THE PILE!" Wario insulted.

"ATTITUDE!" Birdo yelled back. She picked a card from the middle and got a 6.

"Damnit! Everyone's getting higher numbers than me!" Dry Bones complained.

Next up was Wario. Shy Guy set out the cards in front of him.

"Please be a high number, please be a high number..." Wario whispered. He randomly chose a card and got 11!

"YES! WOOT!" Wario cheered.

"I better get a high number this time..." Dry Bones grunted. He was up next now.

He chose a card from the far left and got a 10.

"Yes! Now that is what I'm talking about!" Dry Bones cheered.

Next was Birdo.

"I swear, if I get below a 5 I am gonna blow this place down!" Birdo said.

She picked a card from the middle and got an 7.

"Good enough." Birdo smirked.

Next up was Daisy.

"Um...oh my gosh, THIS IS SO PRESSURING!" Daisy shrieked.

"Just pick a damn card!" Shy Guy impatiently said.

She quickly chose whatever card she saw first.

She got a 9.

"Oh joy!" She cheered.

Wario was up next.

"Lady Luck, please be with me tonight!" Wario said as he rubbed his hands together.

He chose a card from the middle and got a 5.

"...Hmph. Whatever. It's only the second turn anyway." Wario said, clearly not satisfied with his picking.

Since Birdo has the lowest points so far, she got to go next.

"Come on come on! PLEASE BE A BIG NUMBER!" Birdo said.

She picked a random card and got a 12.

"Woohoo!" She cheered.

Since Daisy and Wario were both tied and had the next lowest points, Daisy was randomly chosen next.

"Uhh...CRAP! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!" Daisy freaked out.

"It's simple: PICK A FREAKING CARD FROM THE PILE!" Shy Guy yelled.

Daisy ignored Shy Guy and chose a card from the left.

She got a 4.

"No! FREAKING A! MOTHER EFFER! SON OF A BIATCH!" Daisy yelled. Everyone else rolled their eyes.

Wario was up next.

"Okay. All I need is a good number and I am ready to go!" Wario said in anxiousness. He got a card from the right.

2.

"Wha-WHAT?" He yelled. "A...A 2? Are you kidding me right now?" His jaw was dropped and was in complete shock.

"My turn!" Dry Bones called out.

There were only 2 cars left. He selected the one at the left.

"YES! YES! I GOT A 13! I WIN! WOOOOOOOOOO!" Dry Bones cheered and jumped up and down.

"FINISH!" Said the lady announcer.

**FINAL STANDINGS:**

Dry Bones: 26 points

Birdo: 25 points

Daisy: 21 points

Wario: 18 points

"GRRRRRRRRRRR!" Wario growled in intense anger. The game was almost at its end and this was probably his only shot at getting a fair chance to not get last place. All he's had was just bad luck throughout the entire game. He landed on red spaces and Bowser spaces most of the time. He also landed on everyone's orb spaces more than anyone else and a ton of his money taken away because of them.

"Oh yeah! I'm the best! No one can defeat me! Hahaha!" Dry Bones laughed and danced.

Suddenly, a bob-omb was thrown at Dry Bones, immediately exploding as it hit him. Dry Bones' ashes was scattered across the room.

"WOAH! WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?" Daisy screamed. They all looked at Wario, who had an incredibly disturbing look upon his face. They've never seen that face of Wario's before.

"Shit, I'm getting the fuck out of here!" Shy Guy yelled.

As soon as he saw this, Wario immediately got out his sub-machine gun that somehow fit into his pants and began blasting at Shy Guy.

Shy Guy screamed as he was hit with a ton of bullets. His blood splattered all over the room. He was dead within seconds.

"AHHHHHHH! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" Birdo screamed and started to run away with Daisy.

But Birdo was too slow as Wario grabbed her hard by the head and dragged her to the table.

"NO! WARIO! PLEASE LET ME GO! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!" Birdo cried.

Wario quickly grabbed the deck of cards, put them all into a stack, and tried to shove the stack down Birdo's throat.

Birdo was crying and gasping for air. The cards were blocking her throat, making her unable to scream.

She then started to cough up blood and gurgle on it as Wario pushed the cards down her throat even more.

Birdo fell to the ground with blood still flowing out her mouth. She was now dead.

"SOMEBODY! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" Daisy screamed as she banged on the exit door. She kept tugging on the door, but it was locked shut.

She turned around and saw Wario slowly walking towards her with a creepy grin.

"No...get away from me! WARIO! YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS! STOP IIIIIIIIIIIIT!" Daisy screamed and started to cry.

Wario got extremely close to her. Daisy turned away from him in immense fear. She could feel him breathing on her.

Then suddenly, she felt something hot. On her head. No...not on her head.

On her hair!

"What the hell?" Daisy asked as she started to feel the sudden heat too. She was confused as to why Wario was backing away from her, still having that creepy grin on his face.

But she now realized what was happened.

Her hair was on fire.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! NO! SOMEONE GET A FIRE EXTINGUISHER OR ICE WATER! HEEEEEEEEEELP!" Daisy screamed and ran all around the room.

Her hair was ablaze. It even started catching on her clothes as well.

Daisy then suddenly tripped over a chair and fell down on her face.

"Heh heh heh...looks like Mario Party 7 will be no more." Wario laughed. He then kicked the exit door open and started to leave.

Meanwhile, a koopa that was controlling the camera was hiding under a nearby table.

"My god, that guy was a PSYCHO! I can't believe he killed all those people just because he lost the game! What a sore loser! Thank god he didn't find me under here though." Koopa said in relief.

But suddenly, something rolled over to Koopa.

"Huh? What is this thing?" Koopa asked.

The thing started flashing red.

"Wait a second...is this...a bob-omb?" Koopa asked, widening his eyes in fear.

It started flashing even faster.

"OH SHI-"

BOOM!

EOF.

Tsk tsk tsk, Wario. I'm disappointed in how you could get so angry over losing a mini-game and kill everyone so gruesomely! Well, you'll have Waluigi to back you up and you can complain to the court that it was the creators' fault for making such an unfair game. :P Please review.


End file.
